Pooing in NYC

Fancy Pants Blue Water Grill - Union Sq.

2009-03-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

Blue Water Grill unsurprisingly boasts a restroom fit for a sea captain or a sea captain's prized whore! Step into the main room's bathroom and you will find the softest toilet paper as well as vanilla scented oils diffused in this nautical inspired bathroom. Check out the ceiling adorned with flower moldings and enough brass and marble that you'd be a fool to NOT poop in here. This is the place to go and relieve oneself after a great meal, try their Prixe-Fixe lunch special topped off with a double espresso, that'll do the trick!

The Phoenix Bar - East Village

2008-12-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

My experience was really odd in this bar. I didn't know it was a gay bar when I walked in with my republican, straight, conservative (he thinks G.W. is just a little misunderstood) older brother visiting from Texas.

When I found out about the "Gayness" I didn't care and chose not to judge! Let the drinking and pooing begin I thought. Well, while I was hovering over the women's room toilet a nasty patron (male) peeked over into my stall looking atop the toilet divider. This was all happening while 2 guys in the corner were giving each other head. There was a drink thrown at me (He missed) and I muttered back to that "glass thrower" : I hope you get fucked so hard, he breaks something in there." See people, what I go through in order to review for all of you! But luckily I can't stop, won't stop... what? Until I STOP... I didn't get to poo there long story short BUT if you're going to lay one down, don't do it in the Women's bathroom. Its the extra- naughty sex bathroom... and yes, I managed to snap this blurry photo in the middle of my argument with the brute one.

Soft Spot Bar - Bedford Ave. Williamsburg Brooklyn

2008-12-03T17:55:00.000-08:00

Soft Spot is a cute and cozy storefront tavern right off the L train. Lots o' hipness... there's even mustache "graffiti" on the bathroom door. I was really drunk on the 2 for 1 special when I took these pics so I don't remember pooing, but I can say in confidence, I would poo there if I could turn back time. A little scuzzy, but speculatively speaking, a comfortable and decent place to poo.

7A 24hr Restaurant and Bar - 7th and Ave. A

2008-11-03T22:57:00.000-08:00

I had a delicious quesadilla there and my partner enjoyed a juicy burger. Both meals were very poo friendly. Going to the bathroom it smelled a bit rancid but hey it's open 24 hrs so expect that damage is done in these bathrooms. Poo and move on. Decent t.p, functioning lock and plenty of soap and paper towels. A little stinky, not the cleanest, but hey, it provides the essentials and knowing that for 24 hours these babies are operating, well that's definitely good news!

Niagara Bar - St Mark's on Ave. A

2008-11-03T22:48:00.000-08:00

Decent place to poo, even though I didn't have to poo. The down side is you have to listen to the crappy band playing outside play since the "stage" and bathroom are only feet apart. Also NO SOAP! Why I oughta...

Blue and Gold Bar 7th & Ave A

2008-11-03T22:23:00.000-08:00

The Blue and Gold is one of my favorite bars in NYC. This place is equipped with painted on monopoly table tops on their booth tables. They have $1 pool and blue and gold house ale for only $3.

Although not the coziest place to poo, they are without a doubt the least stinky. What you lack in elbow room you gain in country freshness only an aerosol can provide. Blue and Gold consistently provides a generally clean bowl, lots of t.p, cheap drinks and a great bar staff!

La Famiglia Pizzeria - West 8th and B'way

2008-11-03T22:18:00.000-08:00

La Famiglia in 8th and Broadway is an okay place to poo, It has soap, generally clean, but there is something forbidden about pooing in pizzerias for me. Maybe it is because I see them like houses of worship... I really don't know. None the less, here is a picture of their porcelain throne.

Angelika Film Center - Mercer & Houston St.

2008-11-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

The artsy, fartsy cinema house is a great place to take a dump. The glossy black tiled bathroom has a time released air freshener above the toilet to keep stinkiness at a tolerable or even unnoticeable level. There's a wastepaper basket and a coat hook on the door so you don't have to poo with your handbag on your lap! The mirror is well lit on both sides - perfect for your makeup needs. Down side is for you shy or considerate pooers. There is almost always a line of bathroom to-goers outside these private bathrooms, so beware if you expect to poo and lets say, touch up your eyeliner, the ten minutes you take will produce justifiable angry leers when your successors see you exit.

Bull McCabe's - St. Mark's Pl.

2008-11-02T14:50:00.000-08:00

This dive bar features a spacious back yard with patio tables which is a rare treat in NYC. They have a good selection of draught beer and a pool table. There is no juke box and the bartender really likes Blink-182 which is not going to win any P.I.N.Y.C. points. The women's bathroom although private and generally clean smells of nasty period blood with a touch of vaginitis! This was not a good experience. Pooing takes time and it is an endurance challenge trying to poo and hold your breath! Also, they had one of the thinnest cheapest rolls of t.p I've seen in a while. I say move on to poo somewhere else, less stinky.

Holiday Poo Themed Gifts!

2008-10-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

I'm going to take a break from reviews to wish you all a SUPER early, Happy Chanukah, Feliz Navidad, Merry Christmas, Have a Krazy Kwanza.... It's almost that time of involuntary charging shit on your credit card so that you don't look like a cheap fuck season! Well, if you succumb to the cold, hard, greed of commercialism because your warm, giving soul caves in don't fret! Make the holiday season a reason to give a lot of poo to the people you care about. I found some zany gift ideas all centered around, poo.

1.) How about giving romantic Poo Candles to the lucky lady/lad in your life? If only they were scented as they melted... if only! Buy Here: http://www.pugcafe.com/catalog/doo-lites-flaming-dog-poop-candle.htm

2.) Boss or highly esteemed co-worker getting you in the gift-giving-pickle? How about a poo ball point pen!

Buy Here: http://www.jlist.com/SEARCH/poop/1/

3.) Recent college grad or maybe just someone who "doesn't get

it" well, inform them with this

book.

Buy Here: Powellsbooks.com or Amazon.com

4.) Last but not least, for the broke, some of the best presents are homemade, d.i.y. style so hop to it and remember poo themed gifts are a delight best served personal, so get creative and make your own!!!

NYC Cares!

2008-10-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

Posted By Pete Catapano for AmNY 10/30/08

By Jason Fink

If disaster strikes the city again, New Yorkers can rest assured: You will be able to find a toilet.

According to the city’s Office of Emergency Management, the city’s disaster plan provides for the needs of, say, the up to 3 million people who would flee a Category 5 hurricane.

A report this week by Japan’s disaster prevention panel found that if a magnitude 7.3 earthquake hit on a weekday, hundreds of thousands of people in Tokyo would be unable to find an appropriate place to relieve themselves.

Not so in Gotham, says Kelly McKinney, deputy commissioner of the OEM.

“Based on what we know, and based on our scenarios, yes” people will be able to get to a bathroom, he said. “That’s precisely what we plan for.”

Besides shelters that have cots and other longer-term necessities for people displaced by a disaster, the city has what it calls “ready receiving centers,” which are primarily churches, schools, libraries and similar non-profits.

“We noticed on 9/11 and (during the blackout) in 2003, that people walking long distances need certain services,” McKinney said.

And those facilities, meant for just a quick drop-in, are set up as receiving centers because of their . . . well, facilities.

Elitist Pooing

2008-10-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

In NYC a pedestrian has a plethora of locations to poo. If you are into museum hopping you might want to check out the unisex bathroom at The American Folk Art Museum. It's a great place to leave a long one. It always has a double roll of t.p, generally clean and there is a wastebasket so you don't fall victim of clogging the toilet! There are 4 communal bathrooms too, so don't expect to get interrupted either! That garners many poo-points in my opinion!

You will also be happy to find paper towels and soap in a vanity style sink area, very chic!